STRAIGHT TALK by Hafeez Khan
It is human nature to share joy and success. We internalize our pain and put up a brave face. Everyone likes to bask in the glory of success and we all enjoy a good time. Pain is an orphan few want to own. However this pandemic has inflicted so much suffering that I feel I will burst if I don’t share.
Throughout last year till now, opening Facebook is like reading the obituary page. Tragedy has become an integral part of our lives no matter where you live. Globally, most families have been impacted by this wicked virus somehow. I will start with the double whammy that hit us just this past week.
Khan Khokhar was a prominent name in the community. A leading immigration consultant whose marketing slogan “jahan lagay immigration ke tokhar, wahan yaad karain Khan Khokhar” gained him fame all over Canada. That is his business persona. He and his family are deeply loved by a wide circle of friends. Our friendship expanded to our spouses and kids. Last month he contracted COVID. A month of treatment made him virus free, but it damaged his lungs completely. His departure brought an uncontrollable gush of tears and a huge void in our lives.
I was still reeling from this loss when I got the shocking news that our beloved friend Nasim Niaz has left us. Nasim and his wife contracted the virus in March. He recovered but we lost our beloved Bhabi. Nasim was suffering from a heart condition. He was a British citizen and top cardiologists were treating him. Due to weakness created by COVID they postponed his surgery. That proved fatal and a massive heart attack took him. Compared to the age of our friendships, Nasim was a relatively late entrant, introduced by Rana Javed Omar, the man indelibly printed on my heart.
Nasim Niaz came from UK and he conquered our hearts. He was a gracious host with a heart of gold. Many a times while flying back to Canada my flight would be early morning. I would say my goodbyes to Hassan Nisar and family, my adopted home, and move to Nasim’s residence close to the airport. Nasim was an accomplished singer with an incredible memory of songs and ghazals. He would invite friends, we would eat his sumptuous food and have a musical evening till my flight. At times Hamid Butt who we call “Jubi” lovingly would be visiting Lahore. He is a soft crooner so we would have “jugal bandi” between them.
Tears roll down my eyes as I write this. Many amongst our circle of friends have achieved success but when we are together we are just boys sharing love and laughter. Khalid Taj carries on the legacy of his celebrated father Joosh sb, a senior oil executive and mentor of many well known intellectuals. Khalid is an anchor when I am in Lahore. He shared a quote of Malik Muzaffar, a paper magnate and a friend. “When two friends aged 60 meet they become 30 years old, when it’s three they are 20 years.” It so aptly describes us.
Yesterday I was down in the dumps so I asked my “jigar”, my buddy Capt Adil Chaudhry to come over. He is lovingly known as “Pir Adil” in the air force. Words penetrate deeper than the edge of a knife. Always a straight shooter, his opening remarks pushed me out of my melancholy. “Khanji, we all have a wide range of friends spread all over; at our age that is the kind of news we will get, none of us will announce he had a son”. Painful but true when we heard we lost Rana Maqsood and Mubin Pirzada.
I stayed longer than my plan in Pakistan this time around. As seniors we carry our ailments and medicines with us. I ran short of meds and called Adil to send replenishment through someone. Mubin Pirzada was travelling to Karachi and he brought them along. In Pakistan he contracted COVID and never recovered. A loving friend who used to be the life of a party. I called to thank him and that was our last call. May Allah bless him and all the others.
I got addicted to friends since my Punjab University days and I love it. But friendship means sharing their pain too. It was unbelievable suffering going through the experience of a near one getting infected, living the dreadful experience and fortunately surviving. I lived and died every day with Rana Javed, Pervez Bhandara, Dr. Nauman Qureshi, my alter ego “JR”, Javed Randhawa, Akram Mirza in New York, Asim Siddique and my adopted nephew Bilal Shehzad as they suffered the virus.
I was hammered out of the ground when my soul-mate Afzal Ghauri contracted COVID. The ordeal lasted a month. I don’t want to re-live this roller coaster ride ever again. Hopes going up one day and taking a nosedive the next. The emotional price is too much. Without the support of my wife and Tahir Chaudhry, I really don’t know what I would have done. Hassan Nisar, the third member of the trio, summed it beautifully “Khanji I have looked forward to your calls for fifty years, this time I dreaded your call”. I call my articles “Straight Talk” but friends this one is coming straight from the heart. I pray for all those going through such experiences.
